This all began as a joke among friends.
Friends who can’t believe that I live in Alaska now.
Me — the girl who can’t go a day without putting her feet in a pair of heels. The girl who loves the city and the prospect that there’s much to do at 3 a.m., even if I have no plans to leave the house. The girl who played inside with dolls instead of outside on the trampoline.
The girl whose face automatically frowns in disgust at the suggestion of outdoor activity, but who decides to “be a trooper” and go for it…and in all the pictures of said outside event, looks like she’s ready to commit murder. Yup.
That chick now lives amongst the Last Frontiersmen (and women and children and moose).
But…”In all thy ways, be fabulous” is a scripture I have memorized and plan to live by…even in Alaska.
“So what are the people like in Alaska?” asked one (or all) of these friends at a recent wedding weekend in the DMV.
“They seem to like to do everything I don’t,” I replied, which was just about the most honest answer that I could think of.
- Hiking (on a good day when I plan to wash my hair in the next 24 hours…MAYBE)
- Camping (if that’s what lies at the end of hiking, count me all the way out)
- Canoeing (it really hurts to row that deep and actually move the boat)
- Fishing (no need to address this one)
- Taking selfies with moose who come and go as they please in the streets of Anchorage (again, no need)
- Harvesting things (I barely use my microwave)
“Oh, so they’re crunchy,” said one friend. “You know, nature enthusiasts.”
“I’ve seen so many shows about Alaska, though,” said another friend. “You should have a show.”
A show about an un-crunchy, well-dressed girl of the 5.8% demographic makeup who got her heel stuck in the floor of an Anchorage post office once (YES! Stuck in the floor!) and everybody gave her the Bey side eye??
“Yes!” I agreed. “We’ll call it ‘Uncrunched.’”
…It was all a joke. Until it wasn’t.
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Stay tuned for Episode 2? (Unless you guys hate Uncrunched, and then we’ll quit filming immediately)